The End:
"Come for a walk with me," he suggested in an unemotional voice,taking my hand.
I didnt answer. I couldnt think a way to protest,but i instantly knew that i wanted to. I didnt like this. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in my head repeated again and again.
But he didnt wait for an answer. He ulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what i wanted, i reminded myself. The chance to talk it all though. So why was the panic choking me.
We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail -- I could still see the house.
Some walk.
Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me,his expression unreadable.
"Okay,let's talk," I said. It sounded braver than it felt.
He took a deep breath.
"Bella we're leaving."
I took a deep breath,too. This was an acceptable option. I though i was prepared. But i still had to ask..
"Why now? Another year--"
"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks,after all? Calisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd havee to start over soon regardless."
His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? i stared at him, trying to understand what he meant.
He stared back coldly.
With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd missunderstood.
"When you say we--," I whispered.
"I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.
I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before i could speak.
"Okay," I said."I'll come with you."
"You can't, Bella. Where we're going.... It's not the right place for you."
"Where you are is the right place for me."
"I'm not good forr you, Bella."
"Don't be ridiculous."I wanted to sound angry,but it sounded like I was begging. " You're the very best part of my life."
"My world is not for you," he said grimly.
"What happend to Jasper--- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"
"You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."
"You promised! In pheonix, you promised that you would stay---"
"As long as that was best for you," he interupted to correct me.
"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me -- somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Calisle tolde me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't car! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you -- it's yours already!"
He took a deep breath and stared,unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder -- like the liquid gold had frozen solid.
"Bella, I dont want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
There was a pause as i repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
" You ....don't..... want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in the order.
"No!"
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz -- hard and clear and very deep.
......
" Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded...
...
He looked away into the trees as he spoke again.
"Of course, I'll love you .... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realized that it's time for a change. Because I'm... tired of pretending to be something iam not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human.
"I've let this go on much too long , and I'm sorry for that."
"Don't!" My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."
...
"You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his ealier words round , and so i had no argument. How well I knew that i wasn't good enough for him.
...
"If.... that's what you want."
He nodded. once.
....
"I would like to ask one favor ,though, if that's nto too much, " he said.
...
"Anything," I vowed, my voice faintly stronger.
As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming.
"Don't do anything reckless and stupid." he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm sayiing?"
I nodded hopelessly.
His eyes cooled, the distance returned "I'm thinking of Charlie of course. He needs you. Take care of yourslef--- for him."
I nodded again. "I will," i whispered.
He seemed to relax just a little.
"And I'll make a promise in return," he said.
"I promise that this will be the last tiem you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."
....
....
He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human - your memory is no more than a sieve. Tiem heals all wounds for your kind."
"And your memories?" I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat , like I was choking.
"Well"- he hesitated for a short second - " I won't forget, But my kind ... we're very easily distracted." He smiled ; the smiled was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes.
He took a step away from me. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."
.....
.....
"Goodbye Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice.
"Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward.
I though he was reaching out for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrist and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed.
" Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin.
There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.
He was gone.
♥
Monday, December 1, 2008
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