Wednesday, December 31, 2008
upcoming year resolution..
1. i want to collect more vampy book series.
2. be someone.
3. earn some cash to spend.
4. save up for dubai trip.
5. create new blog.
5. delete this one. ( coz its being to... )
6. etc. etc..
10****. lastly i want AARON PERRY JOHNSON as my boyfriend..
( i dare sweear i'll be true to only you, aaron!! tt's if i were to be yr girl luhh of coz.)
much love
told you about it at 12:40 AM
upcoming year resolution..
1. i want to collect more vampy book series.
2. be someone.
3. earn some cash to spend.
4. save up for dubai trip.
5. create new blog.
5. delete this one. ( coz its being to... )
6. etc. etc..
10****. lastly i want AARON PERRY JOHNSON as my boyfriend.. ( i dare sweear i'll be true to only you, aaron!! tt's if i were to be yr girl luhh of coz.)
|
Saturday, December 20, 2008
A week has pass.
And holiday has all with a great start.
With much enthusiast.
Thus whenever there's a good time.
there's always bad times too.
So basically.
I had a super bad fall.
And my body is filled with bruises.
Will update next week with photos.
Iam off to my usual vacation.
Where i'll meet up with those i missed terribly.
Plus many loved ones.
Timmy and Marcus are going to be around.
Plus Danish.
the perfect christmas gift though.
which i've longed for...
well.
see you mates around.
Sorry if iam not there when some of you need me.
Coz guess i am much to much self-proned.
&&
" to my baby.
this may be short.
But all the best for you performances later.
I know you'll do wonders.
Coz you always did.
I love you.
Best of luck."
xoxo.
Nuw'l.
much love
told you about it at 2:24 AM
A week has pass.
And holiday has all with a great start.
With much enthusiast.
Thus whenever there's a good time.
there's always bad times too.
So basically.
I had a super bad fall.
And my body is filled with bruises.
Will update next week with photos.
Iam off to my usual vacation.
Where i'll meet up with those i missed terribly.
Plus many loved ones.
Timmy and Marcus are going to be around.
Plus Danish.
the perfect christmas gift though.
which i've longed for...
well.
see you mates around.
Sorry if iam not there when some of you need me.
Coz guess i am much to much self-proned.
&&
" to my baby.
this may be short.
But all the best for you performances later.
I know you'll do wonders.
Coz you always did.
I love you.
Best of luck."
xoxo.
Nuw'l. |
Thursday, December 11, 2008
My favourite Character in Twillight saga.Male.
[ Dr. Carlisle Cullen with wife, Esme. ]
Carlisle Cullen (also known as Stregoni Benefici)
was born in 1640 to an Anglican pastor in London, England. His mother died giving birth to him and was raised by his father who believed in the existence of vampires, witches, and werewolves and led hunts. He put his son in charge of the hunts although at first, he was a failure. However, Carlisle found a coven of vampires living in the sewers and he lead an attack on the vampires.After crossing paths with a savage and rather thirsty vampire, he was bitten and turned three days later. Carlisle, disgusted by his own existence tried many ways of destroy himself, but to no avail. After trying to starve himself, he came across a wild animal and his thirst overpowered him. Carlisle discovered he could survive off animal blood rather than human, creating a new way for the vampires to exist unnoticed among humans.Carlisle studied in many areas but chose to stick to medicine. He works in Forks hospital and is almost completely unaware of the appeal human blood holds for him, but only after hundreds of years of practice. When the Spanish Influenza broke out in the early 1900's, Carlisle came across a dying teenager who had been orphaned by the pandemic. Overcome with the need for companionship, Carlisle stole him away and turned him, beginning his family, the boy was named Edward.Carlisle now has a wife, Esme, and five "adopted children": Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper. Carlisle is described as being tall, blond, and the look-alike of a model. He stands "6'2" and is slender yet muscular. He is physically 23 years old.
Female.
[ Alice Cullen with husband, Jasper ]
Alice Cullen (born Mary Alice Brandon)
is the adopted daughter of Carlisle and Esme, adoptive sister of Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett, and wife of Jasper. Alice is described as being petite and pixie-like at 4'10", with a graceful gait and hair that is short, spiky, and black. Her special ability is to see the future, an enhanced version of her ability to have premonitions as a human. However, her ability is limited; she is only able to see the outcome of a decision once it is made. Due to this, decisions made in the spur of the moment can not be foreseen. Alice can see futures involving humans and vampires, though is unable to see the futures of werewolves or half-breeds, such as Renesmee. In Breaking Dawn, Alice theorizes that she can see vampires very clearly because she is one, can see humans somewhat less clearly because she was one, and cannot see werewolves or half-breeds because she never was one. Alice is portrayed as being bubbly and optimistic, and loves and cares for Bella like a sister. Her hobbies include shopping, make-overs, and throwing parties. Alice's early history is very vague, as she remembers nothing of her human life and woke up alone as a vampire. It is eventually revealed that she was born around 1901 in Biloxi, Mississippi, and was kept in an asylum because she had premonitions. Alice was changed by an old vampire who worked at the asylum in order to protect her from James, a tracker vampire who was hunting her. After doing some research, Alice found her grave and discovered that the date on her tombstone matched the date of her admission to the asylum. Through her research she additionally discovered that she had a little sister named Cynthia, and that Cynthia's daughter, Alice's niece, was still alive in Biloxi.Throughout Twilight, Alice uses her ability to see the future and help Bella when she is in danger. The two soon become friends, loving each other like sisters. In New Moon, Alice foresees Bella jumping off a cliff and assumes she is trying to commit suicide, though Bella actually was partaking in the sport of cliff diving. Rosalie, believing Bella to be dead, informs Edward. After discovering the truth, Alice accompanies Bella to Italy to stop Edward from killing himself. They are successful, but are taken to see the Volturi, who act as police of the vampire world. Through Alice's premonitions, Aro is able to see that Bella will eventually become a vampire and invites her, Alice, and Edward to stay with them. They all refuse and return to Forks. In Eclipse, Alice, who proves to be an adept fighter, joins in the fight to destroy a group of rampaging newborn vampires, created by Victoria in an effort to take revenge on Edward. Alice acts as Bella's maid of honor at her wedding in Breaking Dawn and helps with Renesmee until leaving to search out a crossbreed after the Volturi plan to destroy Renesmee, believing her to be an immortal child. Alice is successful and the Volturi, not seeing a threat, leave.
much love
told you about it at 2:25 AM
My favourite Character in Twillight saga.Male.
[ Dr. Carlisle Cullen with wife, Esme. ] Carlisle Cullen (also known as Stregoni Benefici) was born in 1640 to an Anglican pastor in London, England. His mother died giving birth to him and was raised by his father who believed in the existence of vampires, witches, and werewolves and led hunts. He put his son in charge of the hunts although at first, he was a failure. However, Carlisle found a coven of vampires living in the sewers and he lead an attack on the vampires.After crossing paths with a savage and rather thirsty vampire, he was bitten and turned three days later. Carlisle, disgusted by his own existence tried many ways of destroy himself, but to no avail. After trying to starve himself, he came across a wild animal and his thirst overpowered him. Carlisle discovered he could survive off animal blood rather than human, creating a new way for the vampires to exist unnoticed among humans.Carlisle studied in many areas but chose to stick to medicine. He works in Forks hospital and is almost completely unaware of the appeal human blood holds for him, but only after hundreds of years of practice. When the Spanish Influenza broke out in the early 1900's, Carlisle came across a dying teenager who had been orphaned by the pandemic. Overcome with the need for companionship, Carlisle stole him away and turned him, beginning his family, the boy was named Edward.Carlisle now has a wife, Esme, and five "adopted children": Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper. Carlisle is described as being tall, blond, and the look-alike of a model. He stands "6'2" and is slender yet muscular. He is physically 23 years old. Female. [ Alice Cullen with husband, Jasper ] Alice Cullen (born Mary Alice Brandon) is the adopted daughter of Carlisle and Esme, adoptive sister of Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett, and wife of Jasper. Alice is described as being petite and pixie-like at 4'10", with a graceful gait and hair that is short, spiky, and black. Her special ability is to see the future, an enhanced version of her ability to have premonitions as a human. However, her ability is limited; she is only able to see the outcome of a decision once it is made. Due to this, decisions made in the spur of the moment can not be foreseen. Alice can see futures involving humans and vampires, though is unable to see the futures of werewolves or half-breeds, such as Renesmee. In Breaking Dawn, Alice theorizes that she can see vampires very clearly because she is one, can see humans somewhat less clearly because she was one, and cannot see werewolves or half-breeds because she never was one. Alice is portrayed as being bubbly and optimistic, and loves and cares for Bella like a sister. Her hobbies include shopping, make-overs, and throwing parties. Alice's early history is very vague, as she remembers nothing of her human life and woke up alone as a vampire. It is eventually revealed that she was born around 1901 in Biloxi, Mississippi, and was kept in an asylum because she had premonitions. Alice was changed by an old vampire who worked at the asylum in order to protect her from James, a tracker vampire who was hunting her. After doing some research, Alice found her grave and discovered that the date on her tombstone matched the date of her admission to the asylum. Through her research she additionally discovered that she had a little sister named Cynthia, and that Cynthia's daughter, Alice's niece, was still alive in Biloxi.Throughout Twilight, Alice uses her ability to see the future and help Bella when she is in danger. The two soon become friends, loving each other like sisters. In New Moon, Alice foresees Bella jumping off a cliff and assumes she is trying to commit suicide, though Bella actually was partaking in the sport of cliff diving. Rosalie, believing Bella to be dead, informs Edward. After discovering the truth, Alice accompanies Bella to Italy to stop Edward from killing himself. They are successful, but are taken to see the Volturi, who act as police of the vampire world. Through Alice's premonitions, Aro is able to see that Bella will eventually become a vampire and invites her, Alice, and Edward to stay with them. They all refuse and return to Forks. In Eclipse, Alice, who proves to be an adept fighter, joins in the fight to destroy a group of rampaging newborn vampires, created by Victoria in an effort to take revenge on Edward. Alice acts as Bella's maid of honor at her wedding in Breaking Dawn and helps with Renesmee until leaving to search out a crossbreed after the Volturi plan to destroy Renesmee, believing her to be an immortal child. Alice is successful and the Volturi, not seeing a threat, leave. |
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
there's things in life i just can't get over with.
COMMITMENTS beat the guts out of me. BOUNDARIES sends chills down my spine.LOVE always sending butterflies in my stomach. I just can't stand the idea of getting head over heels in love without the consequences that awaits you in the end. Iam not trying to fool those who love me. Thus I want them to know that i love the love. Thus, i would love to be loved. But just i am plain fickled.
much love
told you about it at 11:24 PM
there's things in life i just can't get over with.
COMMITMENTS beat the guts out of me. BOUNDARIES sends chills down my spine.LOVE always sending butterflies in my stomach. I just can't stand the idea of getting head over heels in love without the consequences that awaits you in the end. Iam not trying to fool those who love me. Thus I want them to know that i love the love. Thus, i would love to be loved. But just i am plain fickled. |
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
iam craving for some stuffs badly.
i hardly have any idea, hw to really save up and get all the things i want at the same time.With the sales tt were due this christmas. I ought to pamper myself with gifts like no other. With the absence of Halfie, i know well that i have to manage alot on my own. Things ain't like it were before. And i have to adapt to that change real bad.But ive managed so much so far. Thus i wonder the difference when he was around. ARHHHGG!!
My craving list.
1. Some oxford looking lace up formal heels.
i.
ii.
iii. ( prefered in black )
2. A leather biker jacket.
i.
ii.
iii.
3. Some formal looking top to match with leather bottoms.
i.
ii.
iii.
much love
told you about it at 11:58 PM
iam craving for some stuffs badly.
i hardly have any idea, hw to really save up and get all the things i want at the same time.With the sales tt were due this christmas. I ought to pamper myself with gifts like no other. With the absence of Halfie, i know well that i have to manage alot on my own. Things ain't like it were before. And i have to adapt to that change real bad.But ive managed so much so far. Thus i wonder the difference when he was around. ARHHHGG!!
My craving list. 1. Some oxford looking lace up formal heels.
i.
ii.
iii. ( prefered in black )
2. A leather biker jacket.
i.
ii.
iii.
3. Some formal looking top to match with leather bottoms.
i.
ii.
iii.
|
Sunday, December 7, 2008
"Personal affection is a luxury you can have only after all your enermies are eliminated. Until then,everyone you love is a hostage,sapping your courage and corrupting your judgement."
Orson Scott Card.
Empire.
much love
told you about it at 11:56 PM
"Personal affection is a luxury you can have only after all your enermies are eliminated. Until then,everyone you love is a hostage,sapping your courage and corrupting your judgement." Orson Scott Card. Empire. |
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Salut! mes ami. laughs**
I am literally donw with ECLIPSE and now starting on the last of the
TWILIGHT SAGA ; breaking dawn.
ECLISPE ends off with Bella agreeing to Edward's idea of getting married before they try to have... So yeah! And she sounds so despo. Wanting so much. Cause she knows that once she become immortal, she'll be not able to have her own kids. Just like Esme and Claliste plus Emmett and Rosaline. . . After all the putting up of both sides; the pack and the Cullens. They teamed up to get rid of the new borns that was lead by Victoria. Lead to kill the one and only human that mattered to Edward and Jacob most; Isabella Swan. " A mate for a mate." Somehow, James was Victoria's mate. And In the first series; Twilight itself, the Cullens had to kill James due to his lithe tracking sense and the idea of him killing Bella. So yeah! Revenge was sweet. In Eclipse, i find Bella a little to fickle. When she says she loves Edward and she also love Jacob too. How can that be possible when she knows for sure that Edward was the one she can't live without. And had plans for the future with. She's being very undecisive. Which leads to Jacob trying so hard to win her over Edward. Wth!! Fark right. But well Jacob was not being easy too. Manipulating her with all that he knows . All i can say is, Jacob was playing is cards well. But the hero never failed to be up to expectations. With him being really understanding and all. To perfect sometimes to be true. But well. I guess iam in love with this fictional character. Stephenie Meyer did really bring the super good lover in him.
How i wish it was as easy in real life. Eternity Lovers. "Till the end of time."
much love
told you about it at 11:16 PM
Salut! mes ami. laughs** I am literally donw with ECLIPSE and now starting on the last of the TWILIGHT SAGA ; breaking dawn. ECLISPE ends off with Bella agreeing to Edward's idea of getting married before they try to have... So yeah! And she sounds so despo. Wanting so much. Cause she knows that once she become immortal, she'll be not able to have her own kids. Just like Esme and Claliste plus Emmett and Rosaline. . . After all the putting up of both sides; the pack and the Cullens. They teamed up to get rid of the new borns that was lead by Victoria. Lead to kill the one and only human that mattered to Edward and Jacob most; Isabella Swan. " A mate for a mate." Somehow, James was Victoria's mate. And In the first series; Twilight itself, the Cullens had to kill James due to his lithe tracking sense and the idea of him killing Bella. So yeah! Revenge was sweet. In Eclipse, i find Bella a little to fickle. When she says she loves Edward and she also love Jacob too. How can that be possible when she knows for sure that Edward was the one she can't live without. And had plans for the future with. She's being very undecisive. Which leads to Jacob trying so hard to win her over Edward. Wth!! Fark right. But well Jacob was not being easy too. Manipulating her with all that he knows . All i can say is, Jacob was playing is cards well. But the hero never failed to be up to expectations. With him being really understanding and all. To perfect sometimes to be true. But well. I guess iam in love with this fictional character. Stephenie Meyer did really bring the super good lover in him. How i wish it was as easy in real life. Eternity Lovers. "Till the end of time." |
Its 2:09Am and I can't bring myself to my land of all dream. I was bonded by the existance of ECLIPSE. Hence making me wanting to go on reading with no ends till i actually feel tired and drag myself to do something else. Like now. Updating my blog. I was so out of my usual routine thanks to this book series, TWILLIGHT. I didnt find the need to read the furst book as i was so sure of what was the events that took place. Right after i finish watching the movie. This itch to know more of what is going to happen in the next book, leads me to buying the whole series till the last one.
I finish NEW MOON which was the 2nd book, four days after purchasing it at Times. Leading me too much. I was frustrated as i couldn't get my hands on the 3rd book ; ECLIPSE.
Thanks to Halfie for being so thoughtful. He went almost around the book stores in town in search for the book. Much to my surprise. He had his hands on it before i were even in Kinokuniya last thursday. I love him for being so fast and updated. He knows how to really impress me. Urghs. Sending chills down my spine. The thought of being with him all over again fears me. Coming upfront with commitments. Back to square one AGAIN. Iam scared. Much apologies to you of course. It's not that i saying that i don't want to be loved by you again. But it's just that the moment we part, kept on haunting me. I don't want to have to pick up the broken pieces all bit by bit like before. The chances of history repeating itself was damn high. And I blog about this cause i think you ought to give it a thought. We do have options. And you know how i work through things. I ve not changed much since you last disappear. I am still that Nuw. Ohh la la~ Lets not bring past into the present anymore. The book. The book. And now. It was last Thursday that i got my hands on the ECLIPSE book. And it have been 3 days already since i start reading it. Ohh well I am left with only 3more chapters till the end of this 3rd series. Yaaahoooooo~ Ohhyeahhh. Yipppeeee Yipeeee Yeah.!! Super happy to the last series offhand. Thanks to Halfie again. ha ah... I promised to treat him to some dinner at swensen eventhough he seems to not like the idea. I am sure he don't mind me paying the bills this once, right?! Evil laughterr**
Much Apologies if i hurt any soul out there. Including Mister Halfie of course.
But Iam who i am. No change.
Errrr..
I hate it when i have to admit the fact that i actually miss some people out there.
The ones that's out of sight.
Till we meet during summer break.
My Mister Nishy.
My Kor Timmy.
&& Of course.
That scandal;
Mister Draky.
xoxo.
Nuwul.
much love
told you about it at 2:09 AM
Its 2:09Am and I can't bring myself to my land of all dream. I was bonded by the existance of ECLIPSE. Hence making me wanting to go on reading with no ends till i actually feel tired and drag myself to do something else. Like now. Updating my blog. I was so out of my usual routine thanks to this book series, TWILLIGHT. I didnt find the need to read the furst book as i was so sure of what was the events that took place. Right after i finish watching the movie. This itch to know more of what is going to happen in the next book, leads me to buying the whole series till the last one.
I finish NEW MOON which was the 2nd book, four days after purchasing it at Times. Leading me too much. I was frustrated as i couldn't get my hands on the 3rd book ; ECLIPSE.
Thanks to Halfie for being so thoughtful. He went almost around the book stores in town in search for the book. Much to my surprise. He had his hands on it before i were even in Kinokuniya last thursday. I love him for being so fast and updated. He knows how to really impress me. Urghs. Sending chills down my spine. The thought of being with him all over again fears me. Coming upfront with commitments. Back to square one AGAIN. Iam scared. Much apologies to you of course. It's not that i saying that i don't want to be loved by you again. But it's just that the moment we part, kept on haunting me. I don't want to have to pick up the broken pieces all bit by bit like before. The chances of history repeating itself was damn high. And I blog about this cause i think you ought to give it a thought. We do have options. And you know how i work through things. I ve not changed much since you last disappear. I am still that Nuw. Ohh la la~ Lets not bring past into the present anymore. The book. The book. And now. It was last Thursday that i got my hands on the ECLIPSE book. And it have been 3 days already since i start reading it. Ohh well I am left with only 3more chapters till the end of this 3rd series. Yaaahoooooo~ Ohhyeahhh. Yipppeeee Yipeeee Yeah.!! Super happy to the last series offhand. Thanks to Halfie again. ha ah... I promised to treat him to some dinner at swensen eventhough he seems to not like the idea. I am sure he don't mind me paying the bills this once, right?! Evil laughterr**
Much Apologies if i hurt any soul out there. Including Mister Halfie of course.
But Iam who i am. No change.
Errrr..
I hate it when i have to admit the fact that i actually miss some people out there.
The ones that's out of sight.
Till we meet during summer break.
My Mister Nishy.
My Kor Timmy.
&& Of course.
That scandal;
Mister Draky.
xoxo.
Nuwul.
|
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
wahhh i can't believe that i have forgotten about
my all-time favourite bassist's birthday. ha ha.
It was like 2 days back. On the 30th of November.
Nevertheless i love him much too much.
Dougie Lee Poynter.
Dougie turns 21 this year.
much love
told you about it at 5:11 PM
wahhh i can't believe that i have forgotten about
my all-time favourite bassist's birthday. ha ha.
It was like 2 days back. On the 30th of November.
Nevertheless i love him much too much.
Dougie Lee Poynter.
Dougie turns 21 this year.
|
Monday, December 1, 2008
The End:"Come for a walk with me," he suggested in an unemotional voice,taking my hand.I didnt answer. I couldnt think a way to protest,but i instantly knew that i wanted to. I didnt like this. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in my head repeated again and again. But he didnt wait for an answer. He ulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what i wanted, i reminded myself. The chance to talk it all though. So why was the panic choking me.We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail -- I could still see the house. Some walk.Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me,his expression unreadable."Okay,let's talk," I said. It sounded braver than it felt.He took a deep breath."Bella we're leaving."I took a deep breath,too. This was an acceptable option. I though i was prepared. But i still had to ask.."Why now? Another year--""Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks,after all? Calisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd havee to start over soon regardless."His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? i stared at him, trying to understand what he meant.He stared back coldly.With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd missunderstood. "When you say we--," I whispered."I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before i could speak."Okay," I said."I'll come with you.""You can't, Bella. Where we're going.... It's not the right place for you.""Where you are is the right place for me.""I'm not good forr you, Bella.""Don't be ridiculous."I wanted to sound angry,but it sounded like I was begging. " You're the very best part of my life.""My world is not for you," he said grimly."What happend to Jasper--- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!""You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected.""You promised! In pheonix, you promised that you would stay---""As long as that was best for you," he interupted to correct me."No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me -- somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Calisle tolde me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't car! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you -- it's yours already!"He took a deep breath and stared,unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder -- like the liquid gold had frozen solid."Bella, I dont want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying. There was a pause as i repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent." You ....don't..... want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in the order."No!"I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz -- hard and clear and very deep......." Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded......
He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll love you .... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realized that it's time for a change. Because I'm... tired of pretending to be something iam not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human."I've let this go on much too long , and I'm sorry for that.""Don't!" My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."..."You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his ealier words round , and so i had no argument. How well I knew that i wasn't good enough for him...."If.... that's what you want."He nodded. once....."I would like to ask one favor ,though, if that's nto too much, " he said. ..."Anything," I vowed, my voice faintly stronger.As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming."Don't do anything reckless and stupid." he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm sayiing?"I nodded hopelessly.His eyes cooled, the distance returned "I'm thinking of Charlie of course. He needs you. Take care of yourslef--- for him."I nodded again. "I will," i whispered.He seemed to relax just a little."And I'll make a promise in return," he said."I promise that this will be the last tiem you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."........He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human - your memory is no more than a sieve. Tiem heals all wounds for your kind.""And your memories?" I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat , like I was choking. "Well"- he hesitated for a short second - " I won't forget, But my kind ... we're very easily distracted." He smiled ; the smiled was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes.He took a step away from me. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again.".........."Goodbye Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice."Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward.I though he was reaching out for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrist and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed." Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin. There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.He was gone. much love
told you about it at 1:13 AM
The End:"Come for a walk with me," he suggested in an unemotional voice,taking my hand.I didnt answer. I couldnt think a way to protest,but i instantly knew that i wanted to. I didnt like this. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in my head repeated again and again. But he didnt wait for an answer. He ulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what i wanted, i reminded myself. The chance to talk it all though. So why was the panic choking me.We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail -- I could still see the house. Some walk.Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me,his expression unreadable."Okay,let's talk," I said. It sounded braver than it felt.He took a deep breath."Bella we're leaving."I took a deep breath,too. This was an acceptable option. I though i was prepared. But i still had to ask.."Why now? Another year--""Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks,after all? Calisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd havee to start over soon regardless."His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? i stared at him, trying to understand what he meant.He stared back coldly.With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd missunderstood. "When you say we--," I whispered."I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before i could speak."Okay," I said."I'll come with you.""You can't, Bella. Where we're going.... It's not the right place for you.""Where you are is the right place for me.""I'm not good forr you, Bella.""Don't be ridiculous."I wanted to sound angry,but it sounded like I was begging. " You're the very best part of my life.""My world is not for you," he said grimly."What happend to Jasper--- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!""You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected.""You promised! In pheonix, you promised that you would stay---""As long as that was best for you," he interupted to correct me."No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me -- somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Calisle tolde me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't car! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you -- it's yours already!"He took a deep breath and stared,unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder -- like the liquid gold had frozen solid."Bella, I dont want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying. There was a pause as i repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent." You ....don't..... want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in the order."No!"I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz -- hard and clear and very deep......." Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded......
He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll love you .... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realized that it's time for a change. Because I'm... tired of pretending to be something iam not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human."I've let this go on much too long , and I'm sorry for that.""Don't!" My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."..."You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his ealier words round , and so i had no argument. How well I knew that i wasn't good enough for him...."If.... that's what you want."He nodded. once....."I would like to ask one favor ,though, if that's nto too much, " he said. ..."Anything," I vowed, my voice faintly stronger.As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming."Don't do anything reckless and stupid." he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm sayiing?"I nodded hopelessly.His eyes cooled, the distance returned "I'm thinking of Charlie of course. He needs you. Take care of yourslef--- for him."I nodded again. "I will," i whispered.He seemed to relax just a little."And I'll make a promise in return," he said."I promise that this will be the last tiem you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."........He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human - your memory is no more than a sieve. Tiem heals all wounds for your kind.""And your memories?" I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat , like I was choking. "Well"- he hesitated for a short second - " I won't forget, But my kind ... we're very easily distracted." He smiled ; the smiled was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes.He took a step away from me. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again.".........."Goodbye Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice."Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward.I though he was reaching out for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrist and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed." Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin. There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.He was gone. |
[ Dr. Carlisle Cullen with wife, Esme. ]
